Things Irish People Say to Their Dogs (And What We Actually Mean)
By Cupooch
Right, we need to talk about how Irish people communicate with their dogs.
Because we don't just talk TO our dogs – we have full-blown conversations with them. We ask them questions we know they can't answer. We give out to them like they're bold children. We narrate their every move like we're David Attenborough doing a wildlife documentary in our own gaffs.
And the thing is, we do it in a very specifically IRISH way. We use phrases our grannies used on us. We employ levels of sarcasm that would confuse a foreigner. We express deep affection through what sounds like insults.
So let's break down the most common things Irish people say to their dogs, what we ACTUALLY mean, and why our dogs have learned to interpret our tone rather than our words. Because if they understood English, they'd be mortally offended half the time.
The Essential Irish Dog Phrases (A Translation Guide)
1. "Ah here, would you look at the state of ye."
What It Sounds Like: Disapproval, possibly disgust.
What It Actually Means: You've either: rolled in something dead, jumped in the dirtiest puddle you could find, or somehow gotten muck in places that shouldn't be physically possible. I'm not even angry – I'm impressed by your commitment to chaos. But you're getting a bath, and neither of us will enjoy it.
When It's Used: After walks in the rain (so, always), after they've discovered something deceased in the garden, or when they've somehow gotten dirt on the ceiling. THE CEILING.
2. "Will you give over!"
What It Sounds Like: Exasperation, a plea for mercy.
What It Actually Means: You've been barking at absolutely nothing for ten minutes straight, or you're currently attempting to eat the same piece of furniture you try to eat every single day, or you're doing that thing where you stand at the door to go out, then immediately want to come back in, then want to go out again. MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
When It's Used: Multiple times daily. Your dog has learned this means "stop whatever you're doing," but they also know if they wait thirty seconds and start again, you'll just sigh heavily and let it happen.
3. "C'mere to me."
What It Sounds Like: An invitation, possibly for cuddles.
What It Actually Means: I need to check if that's blood or jam on your face. Or I need to remove whatever you've stolen from the counter. Or I can SEE you chewing something and I need to figure out if it's your toy or my phone charger. Again.
When It's Used: Anytime your dog looks too pleased with themselves. If they're looking smug, they've definitely done something.
4. "You're some tulip, aren't you?"
What It Sounds Like: A compliment? Maybe?
What It Actually Means: You've just done something spectacularly daft. Walked into a glass door. Barked at your own reflection. Got your head stuck in the fence. You're not bright, but you're entertaining, and I love you despite your complete lack of common sense.
When It's Used: Daily. Some dogs are smarter than others, but all dogs do eejit things. It's part of their charm.
5. "Good girl/boy yourself!"
What It Sounds Like: Enthusiastic praise.
What It Actually Means: You've done literally the bare minimum of what I asked. Sat when told. Came back when called. Didn't eat the cat. But I'm going to act like you've just won Crufts because positive reinforcement is important, and also because your little face when you're proud of yourself is gas.
When It's Used: After successful completion of basic commands. Irish people aren't great with straightforward praise, so we add "yourself" to make it less earnest.
6. "Ah, you're grand."
What It Sounds Like: Reassurance.
What It Actually Means: This has multiple uses:
- You've done something bold and you're giving me the guilty face, but it wasn't THAT bad, so we'll move on.
- You're nervous about the vet/groomer/fireworks, and I'm trying to convince us both that everything's fine.
- You're begging for my dinner, and I'm about to give you some despite my better judgment.
When It's Used: Constantly. "You're grand" is the Swiss Army knife of Irish phrases. It means everything and nothing.
7. "What's the craic with you?"
What It Sounds Like: A genuine question about their wellbeing.
What It Actually Means: You're acting weird. Staring at the wall. Running in circles for no reason. Barking at a corner of the room where nothing exists. Are you seeing ghosts? Are you having a stroke? Or are you just being a dog?
When It's Used: When your dog is doing something inexplicable. Which is often. Dogs are strange creatures.
8. "Sure look it."
What It Sounds Like: Resignation.
What It Actually Means: You've destroyed something. The couch cushion is in ribbons. There's a hole in the garden the size of a small car. You've eaten my entire week's worth of meal prep. I'm upset, but what can you do? It's done now. I'll clean it up and we'll pretend it never happened until you do it again tomorrow.
When It's Used: When accepting the inevitable chaos that comes with dog ownership. "Sure look it" is how Irish people cope with disaster.
9. "You're some eejit, d'you know that?"
What It Sounds Like: An insult.
What It Actually Means: I love you SO MUCH. You're a complete gobshite with a brain the size of a pea, but you're MY gobshite, and I'd take a bullet for you. This is peak Irish affection – we show love by calling you names.
When It's Used: Multiple times a day, usually while simultaneously cuddling them. The harsher the insult, the deeper the affection. It's the Irish way.
10. "D'you think I'm made of money?"
What It Sounds Like: A legitimate financial concern.
What It Actually Means: I've just looked at the vet bill / the pet insurance / the cost of that fancy dog food you need because you have "sensitivities." I'm complaining, but I'll pay it. I'll always pay it. You're worth it. But I'm allowed to give out about it first.
When It's Used: After any interaction with the vet, the pet shop, or the groomer. Dog ownership is expensive, and Irish people need to vocally acknowledge this even though we all knew what we were getting into.
11. "Cop yourself on."
What It Sounds Like: A stern warning.
What It Actually Means: You're being dramatic. That small dog across the street is not a threat. The postman comes every day – this should not be news. You've been fed – I WATCHED you eat. Stop acting like you're a Victorian orphan who's never seen food.
When It's Used: When your dog is being unnecessarily theatrical about normal situations. Dogs are dramatic. Irish people have no time for it.
12. "Will I?"
What It Sounds Like: You're asking them a question.
What It Actually Means: This is rhetorical. I'm about to throw the ball / give you a treat / bring you for a walk, and I'm building suspense even though you can't understand the words. But you understand the TONE, and you're losing your mind with excitement, which is exactly what I wanted.
When It's Used: Before doing literally anything the dog enjoys. We like watching them get excited. It's pure and it makes our day.
13. "In the name of God..."
What It Sounds Like: A religious invocation.
What It Actually Means: What have you DONE? The smell is ungodly. The mess is biblical. I've just stepped in something unspeakable. This is unprecedented chaos, even for you, and you've set a high bar.
When It's Used: When discovering destruction of a scale you didn't think possible. The full phrase is often "In the name of God and all the saints, what have you done?" Particularly popular with older Irish dog owners.
14. "You're breaking me heart."
What It Sounds Like: Sadness.
What It Actually Means: You're giving me the big sad eyes, and it's working. I said no treats, but look at your little face. I have no willpower. You know exactly what you're doing, you manipulative little fecker, and I'm going to give you what you want.
When It's Used: When being emotionally blackmailed by your own dog. They've perfected the look. We're powerless against it.
15. "Would you ever..."
What It Sounds Like: The start of a polite request.
What It Actually Means: "...stop eating the couch?" "...come back here with my shoe?" "...not bark at 3am for no reason?" It's not really a question. It's a plea. We both know you're not going to stop, but I have to say something.
When It's Used: When you want them to stop doing something, but you know they won't, and you're too tired to actually enforce it.
16. "Gas altogether."
What It Sounds Like: Amusement.
What It Actually Means: You've done something absolutely ridiculous – chased your tail for five minutes, got scared of your own fart, or barked at the TV dog – and I'm entertained. You're my personal comedy show, and I'm not even mad about it.
When It's Used: When your dog does something daft but harmless. We find our dogs endlessly entertaining, even when (especially when) they're being thick.
17. "That's desperate."
What It Sounds Like: Serious criticism.
What It Actually Means: What you've done is SO BAD it's almost impressive. Ate an entire chocolate cake (urgent vet visit). Destroyed the new couch (financial pain). Got sprayed by a skunk (olfactory offense). It's not grand. It's not even nearly grand. It's DESPERATE.
When It's Used: For the truly catastrophic events. This is worse than "sure look it" territory. This is "I need a stiff drink" territory.
18. "Sound out."
What It Sounds Like: Approval.
What It Actually Means: You've been well-behaved. Didn't bark at the neighbours. Let the toddler maul you without complaint. Stayed calm at the vet. You've been a good dog, and I'm acknowledging it in the least emotionally vulnerable way possible. Because we're Irish and we don't do gushing.
When It's Used: When your dog has been genuinely good. It's high praise in Ireland. "Sound" is one of the best things you can call someone. Or some dog.
19. "Get down outta that!"
What It Sounds Like: A command.
What It Actually Means: You're on the couch / bed / kitchen counter and you KNOW you're not allowed there. You're acting like you don't know the rules, but we both know you do. You're just seeing what you can get away with. The answer is nothing. Get down.
When It's Used: When your dog is blatantly breaking known rules and pretending they've amnesia about the house regulations.
20. "I'm warning you now..."
What It Sounds Like: A threat.
What It Actually Means: I'm giving you a chance to stop whatever you're doing before I have to actually get up and do something about it. This is your warning shot. We both know I don't want to move from this couch. Please make the right choice here.
When It's Used: When your dog is doing something bold and you're hoping they'll stop on their own so you don't have to intervene. They usually don't stop. You usually don't follow through. Everyone knows how this goes.
21. "Me poor pet."
What It Sounds Like: Deep sympathy.
What It Actually Means: You're either: genuinely not well (and I'm worried), very slightly inconvenienced (but I'm still worried), or you're fine but giving me sad eyes (and I'm falling for it). Irish people baby their dogs while simultaneously giving out to them. We contain multitudes.
When It's Used: Anytime your dog looks even slightly pitiful. We're suckers for sad dog faces.
22. "Jaysus, Mary, and Joseph!"
What It Sounds Like: Shock and religious fervor.
What It Actually Means: I've just discovered something truly horrifying. You've brought something dead into the house. You've gotten sick on the good rug. You've somehow gotten into a closed cupboard and eaten things that should have been impossible to reach. I'm not angry – I'm genuinely amazed at the disaster.
When It's Used: For spectacular messes that defy explanation. The holy trinity gets invoked for the really bad stuff.
23. "Go on outta that."
What It Sounds Like: A dismissal.
What It Actually Means: You're being ridiculous. You don't need to go out again – we were just outside. You're not still hungry – I just fed you. You're not dying – it's just a small rain shower. Stop being dramatic.
When It's Used: When your dog is trying to convince you they NEED something they absolutely don't need. They'll keep trying. We'll keep saying no. It's the dance we do.
24. "I'll do it in me hole."
What It Sounds Like: Crude refusal.
What It Actually Means: You want me to throw the ball again? We've been at this for an hour. You want another walk? We've done three today. You want my dinner? You've had yours. The answer is NO, in the most Irish way possible.
When It's Used: When you've reached your limit with their requests. Though, in fairness, you usually cave within five minutes. They know this.
25. "Ah, me little pal."
What It Sounds Like: Pure affection.
What It Actually Means: This is unguarded love. No sarcasm, no jokes. You're my buddy. You've had a long day or you're just sitting there being gorgeous, and I'm overwhelmed by how much I love you. I won't admit this to humans, but I'll tell you because you can't repeat it.
When It's Used: Quiet moments. Early mornings. Late nights. When it's just you and them, and you realize how lucky you are to have this furry eejit in your life.
The Thing About Irish People and Their Dogs
Here's what it comes down to: Irish people show affection through mockery, concern through complaints, and love through a constant stream of rhetorical questions and mild insults.
We call our dogs eejits while simultaneously spending obscene amounts of money on their comfort. We give out to them constantly while also refusing to go anywhere they're not welcome. We say "it's just a dog" and then cry when they're sick.
Our dogs don't understand Irish slang. They don't know what "cop on" means or why we're always asking them questions we don't expect them to answer. But they understand TONE. They know when we're happy with them, even if we're calling them gougers. They know when we're worried, even if we're saying "you're grand."
And somehow, they learn to speak Irish-English fluently. They know "cop on" means stop. They know "c'mere to me" usually means they're in trouble. They know "me poor pet" comes with cuddles.
We've created a generation of dogs who respond to Irish idioms and wouldn't know what to do with standard English if you tried it.
Your man down the pub can speak perfect English to tourists, but the second he gets home, it's "will you give over with the barking, you're some tulip" to the terrier. And the terrier understands perfectly.
We're teaching our dogs Irish-English, one exasperated phrase at a time. They're fluent in sarcasm, conversant in complaints, and they've PhDs in reading tone.
So the next time someone asks if your dog understands commands, you can say "Oh aye, he speaks fluent Irish-English. I couldn't tell you what 'sit' means, but he knows exactly what 'cop yourself on' means."
And that's the Irish way.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to tell my dog he's "some eejit" approximately seventeen more times before bed. It's our love language.
Sláinte! 🐕🍀
Irish Dog Language Dictionary;
- Give over - stop it
- Cop yourself on - behave/stop being dramatic
- You're some tulip/eejit - affectionate insults
- Sure look it - resignation to chaos
- Gas altogether - very funny/entertaining
- Sound out - good job/well done
- The craic - what's going on/fun
- In the name of God - shock/dismay
- Me poor pet - sympathy (genuine or performative)
- I'll do it in me hole - absolutely not
- C'mere to me - come here
- You're grand - it's fine/don't worry
